Rusty's Diary, Vol. 7: Underground Pool Hustlers and the Humans Who Love Them

Well, the humans have finally done something RIGHT for once.

Starting today, they're offering free pool from 3pm-7pm, Sunday through Thursday, here in my subterranean kingdom of Mooresville.

Yes, that's right. we're in a BASEMENT. Like proper degenerates should be. While other bars are pretending to be classy with their "ground level" nonsense and "natural lighting," we've embraced our true calling as cave dwellers. It's darker than my uncle's soul down here, the ceiling is low enough that tall people have to hunch like question marks, and the air has that perfect basement mustiness that says "abandon hope, all ye who enter here."

*Chef's kiss*

And now these pool-hungry humans are going to descend into my domain like moths to a fluorescent flame, clutching their cue sticks and their dreams of being the next Minnesota Fats. I've watched enough pool games from under my pinball machine to know how this goes.

Someone's going to lean over a shot, knock over their beer, and blame the table for being "uneven" when really they just can't hold their liquor.

Someone else will spend twenty minutes lining up a shot that a blind possum could make. But here's the thing I'll never admit out loud, there's something beautiful about watching humans play pool in a basement. The concentrated focus, the trash talk, the way the light hits the felt just right. It's like dinner theater, but with more swearing and chalk dust. Plus, free means MORE HUMANS, and more humans means more dropped food for yours truly.

Stay classy (but not too classy),

Rusty